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About Newcastle

Here I am, mates. A lifeguard, yeah, perched on the water’s edge. Watchin’ the waves, calm as ever. And escort? Blimey, what a gig! Not the saucy kind, nah—get your head outta there. I mean the fish—escort fish, right? Little nippers swimmin’ ‘round bigger fellas. Like bodyguards of the sea, innit? Saw ‘em once off the reef. Tiny, scrappy buggers, dartin’ about. Protectin’ their big mates from dodgy types. Parasites, predators—escorts don’t mess about.

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss, Mr. McGregor, storms in. He’s fuming. Apparently, some bigwig in Edinburgh pulled a fast one on us. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just stocks!” But he’s not having it. He’s pacing around like he’s got ants in his pants. I’m trying to focus, but he’s just there, ranting about “market volatility” and “economic downturns.” I’m thinking, “Can’t you just take a breather?”

Green light for new homes at former Linlithgow timber yard