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So, you’re lookin’ to find a pro? First off, it ain’t like orderin’ a steak—medium rare, bam, done. Nah, it’s a damn labyrinth, like that freaky Mulholland Drive flick I love. “Silencio,” right? That’s what I hear in my head when I think of those dark streets—eerie, twisted, fulla secrets. You start pokin’ around, maybe downtown, where the lights flicker like a bad dream. Ain’t no map for this, pal. You’re divin’ into the muck, hopin’ you don’t drown.

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So, I’m rushing down Linlithgow’s Main Street, dodging tourists and their cameras. Seriously, why do they take pics of everything? “Oh look, a stone wall!” Like, c’mon, it’s just a wall! Anyway, I finally get to the office, and my phone’s buzzing like mad. Stocks are all over the place. I mean, one minute they’re up, next minute they’re down. It’s like a bad relationship.

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