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Ooh, quirky thought – what if she’s a ghost? Like in “Syndromes,” all dreamy and odd. “What’s love to a ghost?” she’d whisper, and I’d cackle, precious! Prolly not, but makes it fun, yesss. Exaggeratin’? Maybe! But streets got stories, mate – one prossie swore she bedded a prince. Bollocks, I says, but she winked, and I grinned.

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Then, I spot this old guy sitting on a bench, feeding the ducks. He looks so peaceful, and I’m like, “Man, I wanna be that chill.” But then he starts talking to me about the “good ol’ days.” I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Dude, I’ve got a life to live!”

200-year-old Cortachy Church in Angus on verge of being sold