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Gets me blood boilin tho, these hipsters now buyin em up, payin stupid cash for somethin I’d scrap for a tenner back in the day. Makes me wanna scream, “You’re a bunch of bellends!” But then - quiet thought in me head - maybe I’m jealous, eh? Cos when I was a lad, me uncle had an Escort, blue one, rusty as fuck, and we’d bomb round the estate, wind in me hair, feelin like kings. “Past is just a story we tell ourselves,” *Her* says, and ain’t that the truth? Nostalgia’s a sneaky bitch.

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But then, something amazing happens. A couple of locals come by. They’re like, “Need a hand?” I’m shocked! People in Kirkby are usually busy with their own stuff. But these folks jump in, and we’re fixin’ the tire together. It’s like a scene from a feel-good movie. We’re laughin’, crackin’ jokes, and before I know it, the tire’s fixed.

Person hit by train in Kirkby-in-Ashfield seriously injured as police launch investigation