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But, look, I ain’t judgin’ – nah, not me. If you’re out there, huntin’ for that, uh, “ride eternal,” you do you. Just – y’know – watch yer back. Cops, pimps, crazies – it’s a damn Thunderdome out there! Once knew a fella, Jimmy, swore he found a gal who’d quote Shakespeare while – well, y’know. “To be or not to be,” she’d purr. Cracked me up! Prolly a lie, but I bought it – hook, line, sinker.

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As the day goes on, I’m feelin’ a mix of emotions. Happy, angry, surprised. It’s like a rollercoaster. I’m finally gettin’ into the groove, and then, boom! A flat tire. Just my luck, right? I’m out there, cursing under my breath, and the kids are still laughin’. I swear, if I had a quid for every time I’ve had a flat, I’d be rich!

Police investigation after man stabbed in Kirkby-in-Ashfield