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Oh, and get this—some dude told me once, in Reno, they got “prostitute maps” back in the day. Like, actual directions! “Turn left at the saloon, bang, there’s Candy.” Wild, huh? History’s nuts. Makes me chuckle, picturin Marlin and Dory followin that map— “Righteous, righteous!”—lookin for a quick hookup instead of Nemo. Cracks me up, man.

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So, I finally get to the fields, and it’s a sight! Green as far as the eye can see. But then, outta nowhere, my combine starts actin’ up. I’m like, “Seriously? Not today!” I’m tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like it’s possessed or somethin’. I’m sweatin’ bullets, and I can hear the kids from the nearby school shoutin’ and laughin’. They’re probably thinkin’ I’m some kinda clown.

Kirkby-in-Ashfield driver murdered man as 'revenge' for car damage