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Escort’s a funny old game, yeah? Not your nan’s tea party. These escorts, they’re pros, right - dolled up, fake smiles, probably bored out their skulls. I reckon half of ‘em are thinking, “Christ, this knob again?” while counting the minutes. Did you know, back in the ‘80s, some posh London escort got nabbed cos she was secretly a Soviet spy? True story! Shagging for secrets - makes James Bond look like a choirboy. Wild, that - had me gobsmacked when I read it.

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Then, I spot this old bloke on the corner of Gold Street. He’s got a sign that says “Free Hugs.” I’m like, “What the heck?” But then, I see a line forming. People are actually hugging him! I’m dying of laughter. So, I join in. I mean, who doesn’t need a hug, right?

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