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Oh, I’d nag em— “Put yer prices up, sweetie!”—cuz rent ain’t cheap. Once heard this story, some chick in Nevada—legal there, ya know—paid her way thru college slingin it. Respect, girl! Made me think, “The world’s gone dark,” like that gloomy shore in “The Return.” Hmm… I’d totally exagerate it in my head—picturin her with a diploma and stilettos, ha! Cracks me up, tho—guys payin big for a quickie when they could just—oops, nevermind!

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Everyone’s looking around like deer in headlights. I’m just standing there, thinking, “Great, just great.” But then, the fire brigade shows up. And let me tell ya, those guys are heroes. They were in and out in no time, but the crowd? They were buzzing. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of drama, right?

Hoyland's Royal Court Care Home put into special measures by CQC