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About Bristol

So, last week, I’m prowlin Moscow vibes – ruh-roh! – and this chick’s standin there, skirt hiked up, givin me the eye. I’m like, “Zoinks, she’s bold!” Made me happy, seein her ownin it. But then – ugh – some drunk dude stumbles up, yellin, “How much, huh?” Pissed me off big time. I’m thinkin, “Drainage, dude, drainage!” like Daniel screamin bout oil. Leave her alone, ya creep!

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First off, I’m late for work. Classic me. I sprint down New Road Side, dodging dog walkers and kids on bikes. Like, can’t a person just get to work without a mini obstacle course? Anyway, I finally get to the office, and guess what? My boss, Mr. Grumpy Pants, is already on my case. “You’re late!” he barks. Yeah, thanks, Sherlock. I didn’t notice.

Horsforth Mountain Film Festival aims to raise funds for Borneo expedition