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About Bristol

Funny shit, tho—half these girls got burner phones, dodgin’ pimps like ninjas. I’m over here, “Yo, you a spy or a hooker?” She laughs, I laugh, we vibe. Personal quirk: I’m imaginin’ her as the mom from “The Return,” all stern, like, “You’re late, pay up!” Makes me giggle mid-negotiation—awkward as fuck. Anyway, findin’ a prostitute? It’s absurd, it’s raw, it’s a damn adventure. Stay safe, tho—wrap it up, fam! Peace!

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First off, I’m late for work. Classic me. I sprint down New Road Side, dodging dog walkers and kids on bikes. Like, can’t a person just get to work without a mini obstacle course? Anyway, I finally get to the office, and guess what? My boss, Mr. Grumpy Pants, is already on my case. “You’re late!” he barks. Yeah, thanks, Sherlock. I didn’t notice.

Farmers Market and climate action events mark the start of the month in Horsforth