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About London

So, sexual-massage—huge deal, okay? It’s like, you’re lyin’ there, some gal—or guy, no judgin’—they’re kneadin’ you up. Oils, scents, the works—tremendous! I heard this story once, little known, right? Ancient Rome, they’d do these massages with, like, olive oil—crazy, huh? Slippery, sexy stuff—made me laugh, folks! Imagine Caesar, gettin’ rubbed down, sayin’, “Et tu, Brute? Keep goin’!” Hilarious!

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So, I get to my little shop on Main Street, right? It’s cozy, filled with leather and the smell of polish. I’m settin’ up, and in walks this fella. Looks like he’s just run a marathon. Turns out, he’s got a hole in his favorite trainers. I mean, come on, mate! You can’t be runnin’ around in shoes like that. But hey, I’m a nice guy, so I fix ‘em up. He’s all grateful, and I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, maybe today won’t be so bad.”

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