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Once, I matched with this fiery wench—thought she’d be me Shosanna, settin’ me world ablaze! Turns out, she ghosted me faster’n ye can say “Auf Wiedersehen.” Gutted me, that did—worse’n losin’ the Black Pearl! But then, next night, I’m swipin’ again, cuz “I’m in the business of killin’ Nazis”—or boredom, same diff.

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So, I’m munching on my scone, and I see this kid, right? He’s got a guide dog, and they’re just chilling outside the café. I’m thinking, “Man, that’s what it’s all about.” I mean, I teach kids like him, and it just hits me. This is why I do what I do.

Halstead cannabis factory with 500 plants uncovered by police