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So, here’s the deal—ya wanna find a prostitute? Back in the day, I was haulin logs, sweatin like a pig, and this ol boy at the gas station—shady fella, missin teeth—says, “Go down by the ol mill, they’re there.” I’m thinkin, “What in tarnation? That’s where the ghosts hang out!” Like Boonmee seein them monkey spirits, ya know, “The past clings to us!” I ain’t lyin, it felt spooky, like I was steppin into some past-life hoedown.

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Finally, I get my drink, and it’s like a hug in a mug. I’m sippin’ away, feelin’ a bit better, when I spot this flyer on the wall. “Gosforth Talent Show – Tonight!” I’m like, “Why not?” I’ve got a knack for tellin’ stories, so I sign up.

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