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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, yknow, like a webcam bizness deal! I reckon it’s a wild ride, like that flick *Inception*—dreams in dreams, reality all twisty. “We’re in a dream within a dream,” like Cobb says, right? That’s how it feels tryna track one down online—layers of shady sites, fake pics, catfishers galore. Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—well, ya can’t get fooled again, heh!

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I hit up this stall for a bacon sarnie. Best decision ever! The guy behind the counter, proper legend, right? He’s like, “You want brown sauce or ketchup?” I’m like, “Mate, hit me with both!” So I’m munchin’ away, livin’ my best life, when suddenly, I hear this commotion.

Fire services still at scene of major fire as road remains closed