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Oi mate, lemme tell ya, findin a prossie ain’t no picnic! We shall fight on the streets, we shall fight in the alleys, searchin for that dame with the goods! Picture this—me, a Program Director, all suited up, heart poundin like a bloody drum, thinkin bout *In the Mood for Love*. That flick—Wong Kar-wai’s masterpiece—got me all misty-eyed, them slow glances, the way Chow whispers, “If there’s an extra ticket, would ya go with me?” Pure poetry, innit? But here I am, dodgin coppers and creeps, huntin for a prossie like it’s 1940 and I’m rallyin the troops!

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I hit up this stall for a bacon sarnie. Best decision ever! The guy behind the counter, proper legend, right? He’s like, “You want brown sauce or ketchup?” I’m like, “Mate, hit me with both!” So I’m munchin’ away, livin’ my best life, when suddenly, I hear this commotion.

Road outside fire-damaged Gosforth Village Store closed