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Once – true story. Buddy of mine – athlete. Blew cash on a dame. She robbed him – blind! Left him cryin’ – hilarious. Me? I’d be smarter – maybe. Check her moves – her game. Is she playin’ you – huh? “I’m pure… pure!” she says. Yeah, right – sarcastic snort! Trust’s a bitch – always.

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But then, I remember the council meeting. I’m back to bein’ annoyed. Why can’t they see the value in nature? I mean, come on! I’m just a guy who loves trees, and I’m tryin’ to save ‘em.

Midlothian village resident 'disheartened' as fire bugs plague community