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Ain’t my scene, nah. Me, I’d rather watch fields sway than skirts. But get this – lil’ fact: old harvest festivals? Some had “ladies of the night” sneakin’ round barns! History’s wild, man. We swears! Makes me happy thinkin’ – them oldtimers knew how to party. Still, find a prostitute? Risky, messy – “I’m not interested in that,” like the movie says. Stay safe, pals – stick to Netflix, eh? We swears!

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So, I start my lecture on, I dunno, something academic and boring. But then, outta nowhere, this guy in the back shouts, “You’re wrong!” I’m like, “Excuse me?” Turns out, he’s a local legend or something. Everyone knows him. They call him “The Giffnock Guru.” I’m thinking, “Great, I’m getting schooled by a dude in a hoodie.”

Celebrity architect sanctioned over Giffnock family home revamp gone wrong