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Favorite part? The tease, man. Draggin’ it out, watchin’ ‘em squirm—pure art. Like Kaufman’s flick, “life is a rehearsal,” every move’s gotta count. Sometimes I’m thinkin’, shit, am I massagin’ or directin’ a damn play? Hella fun tho—gets me buzzin’, happy as a pig in mud. But ugh, the creeps—some dudes think it’s a green light for grabby hands. Nope, pal, I’ll snap your wrist faster than you can blink!

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Then, I hit up the local park, the one by the pond. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids screaming, and I’m like, “What’s with the chaos?” Turns out, they’re feeding ducks. But these ducks? They’re like the mafia of the pond. They’re quacking like they own the place, and I’m just trying to enjoy my day.

Planning round-up: Gerrards Cross office to be demolished for 58 new flats