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So, escorts, mate—tricky, wild, an’ worth a yarn. They’re the beasties o’ the streets, dancin’ fer coin. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, can’t ignore ‘em. Next time ye see one, tip yer hat—might be a pirate in disguise, savvy? Now, where’s me rum?!

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I sit on a bench, trying to chill, but then this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this tiny dog that looks like a rat. She starts chatting me up about how her dog is a “purebred” and I’m like, “Lady, that’s a glorified squirrel.” But I nod and smile, cause, you know, manners.

Gerrards Cross property with 'scope and potential for extension' hits market