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Thou ever see “Oldboy” that hammer scene? Escort’s like that, smashin’ threats left, right. But it’s also borin’, waitin’ hours. My mind wanders, like, “Is this guy worth it?” Drama queen vibes, always. Exaggeratin’? Sure, but escorts can be divas too! One demanded I carry his coffee. Coffee! I was like, “Thou jest, right?”

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First off, I’m strolling down Packhorse Road, thinking about grabbing a coffee at that cute little café, The Coffee House. You know, the one with the funky art on the walls? But nah, I get distracted by this massive dog. Like, I’m talking a bear in a dog suit. It’s just chillin’ on the sidewalk, and I’m like, “Dude, is that a dog or a woolly mammoth?”

First woman mayor for Gerrards Cross hopes to inspire others