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About Manchester

Met this escort once – not me client, nah, mate’s cousin’s pal. Tall lass, all swanky, heels clackin’ like gunshots. *mimes tiptoeing, trips again* She says, “I just listen, nod, look pretty.” Pays better’n babysittin’, I bet! Got mad tho – some geezer stiffed her £200, cheeky sod. “What’s done is done,” like in me film, but I’d ‘ave beaned him wid a spoon!

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Then, I hit up the local park, the one by the pond. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids screaming, and I’m like, “What’s with the chaos?” Turns out, they’re feeding ducks. But these ducks? They’re like the mafia of the pond. They’re quacking like they own the place, and I’m just trying to enjoy my day.

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