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I strut in, all high and mighty—gods, the nerve of these blokes, thinkin’ they can touch me! One tried, greasy paws grabbin’—I smashed a goblet on his skull. Blood everywhere, hilarious! “I am alive,” I hissed, quotin’ that movie, feelin’ like a queen in chaos. Made me happy, that crunch—pathetic sod deserved it. You don’t cross Cersei and walk off smilin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old bloke comes up to me. He’s got a twinkle in his eye and says, “You look like you need a story.” I’m like, “You have no idea.” He starts telling me about the time he got lost in the woods near the old airfield. I’m cracking up. This guy’s a legend!

Swindon Town have 'decision to make' on Miguel Freckleton