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So, check this—back in the ‘80s, escorts were legit sneaky. Little known fact: some worked for spies! Cold War stuff, man, they’d charm secrets outta dudes over martinis. Ain’t that nuts? I’m like, whoa, happy as a pig in mud hearin’ that. But then—D’oh!—it pisses me off too, ‘cause some folks judge ‘em hard. Like, “Oh, scandal!” Get over it, Marge-types! It’s a job, pays better than flippin’ burgers.

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Back inside, the café’s packed. I’m juggling orders like a circus clown. “One cappuccino, two lattes, and a scone!” I’m shouting. My brain’s like, “What’s happening?” But I love it. The energy is wild.

Speyside Whisky Festival awards ‘Best New Event’ to beloved distillery