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Alright, y’all, listen up! Findin’ a prostitute—man, it’s a wild ride. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Far From Heaven,” that beaut of a flick—Todd Haynes, 2002, y’know? Cathy Whitaker, she’s all perfect-like, but trapped, suffocatin’ in suburbia. Kinda like me, ol’ George W., tryna figure this prostitute biz. Fool me once, shame on—uh, y’know, shame on you! Fool me twice—well, we ain’t gettin’ fooled again, folks!

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The first band was a local rock group. They were pretty good! I mean, Flint’s got talent, for real. I was vibing, dancing a bit, and then I noticed this girl in the crowd. She was laughing, having a blast. I thought, “She’s cute.” So, I mustered up some courage and went over to chat. Turns out, she’s from Mold, just a short drive away. We hit it off, talking about everything from music to the best chippy in Flint.

Quakers sign midfielder Will Flint