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About Bristol

So, Jessica—she’s no damsel, mate, she’s a trap! “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way,” she purrs, and I’m like, “Seven hells, that’s wit sharper than my dagger!” Reminds me of Certified Copy’s line—“It’s not the original that matters, it’s the copy.” Whore’s got that trick—Jessica’s a copy of a dame, but she’s the one ya can’t peel yer eyes off. Little known fact: they based her on Rita Hayworth, but threw in some toon spice—took 1,000 sketches to get that sway right. Bloody genius, I tell ya!

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But then, I trip over a rock and faceplant in the sand. Classic! Dave’s laughin’ his head off, and I’m just layin’ there, covered in grains. “Best day ever!” I shout, and we both crack up.

Fatal Filey crash: Yorkshire police appeal for witnesses and dashcam footage after woman dies following a collision