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Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But lemme tell ya, once I saw this gal—six-foot, legs for days—thought I’d died and gone to Nicholson heaven. Turned out, she was a dude. Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—I bolted, laughin’ like a loon. Moral? Check twice, trust once. It’s a jungle, pal—thrillin’, messy, and oh-so-human. What’s yer take?

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By now, I’m knackered. I decide to grab some grub at that fish and chips place on Undercliff Road. Best chips in town, no contest. I’m sittin’ there, munchin’ away, and I overhear this couple arguing about the best way to cook fish. I’m like, “You two need to chill. Just eat it!”

Felixstowe Landguard Fort damaged after '40 golf balls hit walls'