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I saw this one gal, all sass, smokin’ a ciggie, leanin’ on a wall. I’m like, “Oi, she’s the one!” But then—surprise!—some geezer rolls up, all aggro, yellin’ at her. Pimp, probs. Got me mad as hell! Why’s he gotta ruin it? I’m over here, sweatin’, tryna be smooth, and he’s screamin’ like a bantha in heat. R2-D2, where are you? Save me from this mess!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this commotion. Some guy’s tryin’ to start a fight over a game of darts. I’m like, “Dude, it’s darts, not the World Cup!” But he’s all up in arms, and I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my pie.

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