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About Newcastle

Ruh-roh! Picture this—I’m sniffin round, tail waggin, tryna scope it out. “The river flows beneath us,” I mutter, quotin Malick, feelin deep n shit. But then—BAM!—some sketchy dude’s like, “Yo, you lookin?” Pissed me off, man! I ain’t no shady pup! Scooby-Doo don’t roll like that, ya dig?

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So, I’m fumin’ a bit, but whatever. I keep walkin’ and head over to the harbor. The view is sick, tho. The sun glintin’ off the water, boats bobbin’ around. I’m feelin’ a bit better. I pull out my sketchbook, ready to capture the moment. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my sandwich! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your lunch! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, and the bird just looks at me like, “What’s your problem?”

French Foreign Legion arrive in Co Down seaside town to do battle with Irish Sea