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About Birmingham

Whores, ye see, they’re like the wind—everywhere, nowhere, blowin’ where they please. Ain’t no black pearl, but they’ve got tricks up their skirts, savvy? Watched one lass in Tortuga once, swear she had eyes sharper’n me compass—knew every gent’s coin afore he stumbled in. Made me laugh, it did, ‘til she nicked me last shillin’! “I’m not a program,” she says, winkin’, like that bird Samantha from *Her*. Cheeky wench—had me ragin’ and grinnin’ all at once.

Devizes on a map

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on Long Street. You know the one? The one with the weirdly named pastries? I swear, I ordered a “Devizes Delight” and it tasted like cardboard. But hey, caffeine is caffeine, am I right? I chugged it down and headed to the market. The Devizes Market is always buzzing, full of locals and tourists. I love it!

Man in 70s dies after fire at house in Wiltshire