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About Newcastle

I reckon it’s freedom, right? Students, younguns, takin’ charge of their bits—self-determination, my arse. Half these sods don’t know what they want—swipe right, shag, repeat. I drink, I know things—did ya know, back in ‘15, some uni bloke made a sex-dating bot? Matched with 50 birds, didn’t even leave his dorm—genius or lazy, you pick. Got me chuffed, that did. But then, there’s the dark side—catfishin’, creeps, and “send nudes” pricks. Pissed me off once, this lass told me her date showed up 20 stone heavier—*“We’re all ashes here”*, I told her, quotin’ Saul. Dust to dust, mate, but at least be honest on Tinder.

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First off, I’m strolling down the High Street, just vibing. I’m thinking about grabbing a coffee at that little café, you know, the one near the post office? But then, bam! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Like, who even does that? I’m pretty sure I invented a new dance move. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Why’s the pavement gotta be so rude?

Winter is coming. Is Fall River ready to plow through the snow and ice season?