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This chick, she’s standin’ there, all “business is business,” like Aldo R Uticon sayin’ “We’re in the killin’ game!” Laughed my arse off—her wig’s crooked, teeth missin’, but she’s got sass. “Ten bucks, love,” she hisses, and I’m like, “What?! We wants quality, precious!” Made me mad, mate—ten bucks for that? Pfft, scalpin’ Nazis cheaper! But then, surprise—she’s got a mate who’s proper fit, hidden round the corner. Little known fact, yeah? They team up, like them Basterds plottin’.

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Then, I got a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about the project.” My heart sank. I knew it was about the budget cuts. Ugh! I had to put on my best “everything’s fine” voice. “Sure, no problem!” But inside, I was screaming. I mean, how do you expect us to work with less?

Friends become foes in charity boxing match