Emily Cumnock Find A Prostitute ❤️❤️❤️

About Manchester

So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

COMING SOON

I jump in, and before I know it, we’re all shouting about who’s the best team. It’s hilarious! I’m laughing so hard, I nearly spill my drink. But then, the random guy gets all serious and starts talking about how Cumnock needs more community events. I’m like, “Mate, chill! We’re just having a laugh!”

Sell-out show heading to Cumnock Town Hall for two performances next month