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About Newcastle
Surprised me, too—didja know sex-dating’s got stats? Like, 40% of couples now meet online! Blew my mind. Thought it was all horny kids, but nah—people findin’ soulmates in this mess. Crazy, right? Still, I’m over here mutterin’, “Billionaires should not exist!”—cos these apps charge ya for “premium”—what, I gotta pay to see who likes me? Screw that!
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Then, outta nowhere, the dude drops a chainsaw! It bounces, and I swear, it nearly takes out a kid’s ice cream. Everyone gasps. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my pasty.
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