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Oh, and the smells—lavender my arse, more like cheap lube and desperation. Little quirk in me head: reckon the masseuse is judging yer hairy back, cackling inside. Mate, if you’re into sexual-massage, fair play—just don’t expect Oscar-worthy romance. It’s a transaction, not a bloody sonnet. “Truth’s a slippery fish,” says the film—same as that oily rub-down. Slapdash, messy, and a bit pathetic—perfectly human, eh? Now, where’s me tea?
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But then, just as I’m about to leave, it starts pouring. Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing, though, because what else can you do? I mean, it’s Chadwell-Heath, right? The weather’s as unpredictable as my mood today.
New 20mph speed limit comes into force for five roads in Chadwell Heath
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