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Here’s the kicker—fun fact: in Poland, where *Ida*’s from, prostitution’s legal but pimping ain’t. Wild, right? So I’m thinkin’, why’s this gal here, not there? ‘Cause America’s a damn magnet for dreamers—and crooks! I tell her, “You’re worth more than this!” She laughs—says, “Tell that to my landlord, commie!” Ha! Commie—me! I’m dyin’, folks, she’s a riot.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy storms in. He’s all red-faced and shouting about something. Turns out, he was mad about the noise we were making. I mean, c’mon! We’re brewing magic here! I told him to chill out, but he wasn’t having it. I was ready to throw down, but Dave pulled me back. “Let it go, mate. We’re in Carluke, not a boxing ring!”

Two men arrested after £405000 worth of cannabis seized in Carluke