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Dunno, mate, it’s half genius, half bollocks. You’re lyin’ there, vulnerable, hopin’ for magic fingers, and bam—some chit-chatty wench ruins it. “Where do you work?” Shut it, I’m tryna relax! Little fact: in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands”—bath, rub, wink-wink—all legal-like. Surprised me—thought they were prim! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d wager half these joints are fronts for somethin’ shadier. “What do I want?” David asks in *A.I.*—mate, not this overpriced backrub with a side of guilt!

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In the category Massage parlours Bowdon you can find personals ads, e.g.: tantra massage, full body massage or sensual massage.

So, I grab my coffee and head towards Bowdon’s famous Bridgewater Canal. It’s a lovely spot, honestly. I mean, who doesn’t love a good canal? But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs past me, chasing a squirrel like it’s the last squirrel on Earth. I’m talking full-on sprint. I’m laughing, right? But then the owner, this posh lady in a tweed jacket, starts yelling. “Baxter! Come back!” Like, lady, chill. It’s a squirrel, not a bomb.

The five areas of Greater Manchester where house prices are more expensive than London