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Last week, I’m tailin’ this lead—shady alley, smells like regret. I’m mutterin’, *“Oh, Marge, why this job?”* Suddenly, this gal, she’s standin’ there, all sparkly skirt, eyes like she’s seen too much. I’m thinkin’, *“Her soul’s driftin’ like Boonmee’s jungle spirits!”* I ask her name—Candy, she says. Candy! Ha, like that’s real! I’m all, “Hmm… sugar-coated lies!” Got me chucklin’—these names, always so fake, like Bart’s homework excuses.

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Then, I get a break. I step outside for a breather. Bovingdon’s got this lovely vibe, ya know? The sun’s shining, and I can hear the church bells from St. Lawrence’s ringing. It’s peaceful. But then, I see a bunch of kids playing footy in the street. They’re shouting and laughing, and I’m like, “Ah, to be young again!”

HMP MOUNT: Report criticises response at Bovingdon prison during medical emergency