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Fav part? The thrill of the chase. You match, you chat, you meet—bam, sparks or flops! Once met a gal who said, “I’m lost like Chihiro,” and I was like, “Babe, I’ll be your river spirit!” Worked a charm, we shagged that night—score! But here’s a quirky tip: always check their profile for red flags. Saw one sayin’ “loves pineapple on pizza”—blocked her faster than Gandalf slammin’ that staff!

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We end up jammin’ for a bit. His name’s Jamie, and he’s from the other side of the Water of Leith. We’re vibin’ hard, and I’m feelin’ all the good energy. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes in, right? She’s got a walker and a fierce look in her eyes. She shouts, “Turn that racket down!” I’m like, “Lady, we’re makin’ magic here!” But she’s not havin’ it.

Buckner determined to claim Balerno silverware