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Aloha, brah, it’s me, Stephen Hawking—well, kinda, rockin’ that robotic voice, cosmic wisdom vibe, yeah? Escort, huh, like the ol’ Ford whip from the ‘80s, not that *other* kinda escort, right? Nah, I’m jokin’, let’s dive into this—escort in Hawaii, man, it’s a trip! Picture me, cruisin’ Oahu in my mind, thinkin’ ‘bout *The Pianist*, that flick I love—Polanski’s masterpiece, ya know, where Szpilman’s hidin’, survivin’, playin’ that piano like his soul’s on fire. “I’m not hiding anymore!” he’d say, kinda like how escorts here gotta shine, bold as hell, in this paradise.

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While I’m munchin’, I overhear this gossip. Apparently, there’s a new café openin’ up on High Street. Everyone’s buzzin’ about it. “Best coffee in town,” they say. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what we need. More caffeine addicts in Armthorpe.” But hey, I’m all for a good cuppa, so I might check it out later.

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