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About London

Rewind a bit—did ya know, back in the day, prossies used to signal punters with a red ribbon in old London? Little fact for ya, keeps it real! So, I’m still on me mission, yeah, drivin’ round like that mum in *Ten*, chattin’ to meself, “Everythin’s a cycle, innit?”—movie line droppin’ like bars! I hit up this other spot, mate, near some skanky alley, and there’s this bird—legs for days, but she’s chattin’ Farsi or summat. I’m like, “Bruv, this ain’t *Ten*, I ain’t got subtitles!” Laughed me arse off, proper comedy.

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After my snack, I head back to the fields. The pigs are chillin’, but then I spot one of ‘em, Daisy, rollin’ in the mud. I mean, come on! I just cleaned that spot! I’m shoutin’, “Daisy! You’re gonna be a mud pie!” She just looks at me, all smug. Pigs, man. They’ve got attitude.

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