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Here’s a kicker—back in the ‘80s, escorts ran ads in phonebooks! PHONEBOOKS, man! “Massage, wink wink”—hilarious, right? Cops couldn’t prove jack. Gotta laugh, or ya cry. Me? I’m thinkin’, why’s this still taboo? Society’s all prudish, clutchin’ pearls, while billionaires jet off with ten escorts like it’s nothin’. Makes my blood boil! “The injustice of it all!”—straight outta the movie, fits perfect.

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Later, this sweet old lady comes in. She’s got a basket with a few bits and bobs. She’s so polite, it’s like a breath of fresh air. She tells me about her garden on Weybridge Road. I can’t help but smile. She’s got this sparkle in her eye, talking about her roses. Makes my day, honestly.

Eight puppies have been found in a plastic bag in woodland in Addlestone.