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About Myself
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About Newcastle
What pisses me off? The fakers, the posers! Some creep sidles up, “I got what ye want,” and it’s a bloody scam! “You shall not pass!” I roar, shovin’ him off – waste o’ my damn time! Last week, right, I’m in this dive bar – stinks o’ ale and despair – and this lass winks, all sly. “What’s yer name, wizard?” she says. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, “This is it, Gandalf, ye legend!” Turns out she’s a pickpocket – nicked me pouch! Laughed my arse off later, tho – fair play, she earned it.
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Back to work, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. The queue is out the door. I’m scanning like a madman. Then, this guy comes in, looking all shifty. He’s wearing a hoodie, and I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” He grabs a pack of gum and heads for the door. I’m like, “Oi! You gonna pay for that?”
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