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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear me? Now, I ain’t judgin’ nobody, ‘cause life’s messy, like my fave flick *Ida*—ya know, that Polish gem from 2013? Quiet, deep, hits ya in the gut. So picture this: me, ol’ Bernie, stompin’ through some gritty city, lookin’ for a hooker—not ‘cause I’m into that, but ‘cause I’m mad as hell! The system’s rigged, folks! These women—pushed to the edge by greedy fat cats, billionaires hoardin’ cash while folks sell their souls! “What do you know of such things?”—that’s what Ida’d say, all calm and judgy, starin’ through me.

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Back to work, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. The queue is out the door. I’m scanning like a madman. Then, this guy comes in, looking all shifty. He’s wearing a hoodie, and I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” He grabs a pack of gum and heads for the door. I’m like, “Oi! You gonna pay for that?”

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