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Oh, nearly forgot—surprised me once, this lass on Hinge, proper posh, said she’d only shag me if I recited poetry. I was like, “What?!” Pulled out some *Only Lovers* vibes—“Have you been around forever?”—an’ she was wetter than a Brentford rainstorm. Worked a treat! Little tip for ya there—bit of class goes miles.

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Then, I get a text from my sister. She’s in town, and she wants to meet up. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I could use a laugh. We meet at the Castle Grounds, and it’s nice to see her. She’s always got that energy, you know? We’re chatting, and she’s telling me about her new job at the university. I’m proud of her, but I can’t shake off the day’s heaviness.

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