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About Myself
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About Leeds
Alright, mate, so I’m a cashier, right? Standin’ behind this shitty counter all day, scannin’ crap, and I’m thinkin’—why not find a prostitute? Not like I’m judgin’, just curious, y’know? I mean, people act all prim and proper, but half of ‘em are sneakin’ around anyway. Reminds me of *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—all that fancy nonsense hidin’ dirty secrets. Like Monsieur Gustave bangin’ old ladies for cash, ha! “I go to bed with all my friends,” he’d say—smooth bastard. That’s the vibe I’m feelin’ here.
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When I get there, it’s chaos. Mr. Whiskers is up there, meowing like he’s auditioning for a musical. I’m tryin’ to calm him down, but he’s not having it. I’m like, “C’mon, mate, it’s just a tree!” Finally, I manage to coax him down with some tuna. Yeah, tuna. Who knew that would be my hero moment today?
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