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But then—then!—I dig deeper, and ugh, the maintenance! Owners bitchin’ bout head gaskets, transmissions explodin’—I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Why’d ya buy it, ya schmuck?!” Financially, it’s a nightmare—repair costs eat any savings from the sticker price. I’d short that car if it were on the market, no question. Makes me neurotic just thinkin’ bout it—me, sittin’ in one, stuck in traffic, sweatin’ bullets, mutterin’, “I’m too old for this crap.” Total Larry David moment, right there.

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Oh, and the neighborhoods, man, they got character. Down near North Street, not too far from the town center, there's this old brick building that screams history. But hey, I'm a tech guy – I see the latent potential for a killer new dating algorithm in every cracked pavement and graffiti-ridden wall. Sometimes I think, “We're all just code in the city, baby,” and I laugh at how crazy it all is.

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