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Last time, this lass, she’s pressin’ my shoulders—bliss, I tell ya! Then—crack—me neck pops loud. Scared me silly, thought I’d croak! “What’s that?” I hiss, she laughs, “Just tension, love.” Tension, my arse, felt like a bleedin’ exorcism! Still, walked out floatin’, happy as a hobbit with two dinners.

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Next, I head over to the other side of town, near the Yaxley Library. You know, that old building with the weird clock tower? I’ve always thought it looked like it’s about to fall over. Anyway, I’m supposed to install some sound system for a community event. I get there, and it’s chaos! People running around, kids screaming, and the organizers are all flustered. I’m like, “What’s the plan, folks?”

Yaxley development 'not appropriate' says Huntingdonshire council