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Sometimes it’s shady, tho. Underground joints, sketchy vibes—makes me mad! Dudes get ripped off, or worse, cops bust in. One time, my minion Dave, he went, came back all red, mumblin’ bout “extras” he didn’t ask for. Poor sod, I was dyin’ laughin’— “What’d I tell ya, Dave? Ain’t no country for dumb minions!” He’s all sulky, I’m wheezin’.

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Turns out, they forgot to order the speakers. I mean, c’mon! How do you forget the speakers for a sound system? I’m fuming inside, but I keep my cool. I suggest we use my portable ones. They’re not the best, but they’ll do. So, I’m lugging these heavy speakers from my van, and I’m thinking, “Why do I even lift weights? This is my workout for the week!”

Emergency services close road in Yaxley near Peterborough after house fire