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But mate, the weirdos – oh, they’re out there! Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Some geezer once asked me to wear a clown mask – “Sharon!” – I’m like, “What the fuck’s this?” Told him to sod off quick! Then there’s the ghostin’ – they shag ya then vanish, poof! “I need to know who he is,” I’m thinkin’, like Graysmith in *Zodiac*, obsessed n’ shit. Drives ya mental!

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I gotta say, sometimes I get so caught up, I slip into a ramble – hey, that's Woolston's vibe, wild and raw, you know? So, if you're comin’ over, be ready: streets that whisper stories, alleys that hum tunes, and parks that fill your soul with joy. It's like livin’ inside a film. "I must run," I'll shout, and run along these vibrant streets until the next sunrise.

Rovers return to action after enforced Easter weekend break