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About Leeds

Anyway, I saunter over, all smooth-like. “Ciao, bella,” I say, channelin’ Jep’s charm. She’s nervous, hands shaky—makes me feel a bit sad, ya know? “This city’s a graveyard,” I think, quotin’ *The Great Beauty* in my head. She’s quotin’ a price, 50 euros, cheap as chips. I’m like, “Love, you’re worth more,” but she don’t get it. Makes me mad—pimps grindin’ her down, fuckin’ bastards. I wanna punch somethin’, but I’m Bond, so I smirk instead.

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There’s Main Street – it's, er, like the heartbeat of Woodford-Green, buzzin’ with life. You stroll past shops, cafes, and that snazzy grub joint on Church Lane, and you just feel the vibe, the energy. I’ve met some mad characters there, all starry-eyed and grinning like they know the magic of this place – like, totally "fish tank" levels of intensity – “You have to do something with your life... or else!”

Woodford Underground Station shuts after massive fire breaks out in public toilet